5 New Parent Pet Peeves
Motherhood has brought with it many blessings for me – babies of course, more purpose in my life and a new found
obsession love for Peppa Pig. What I didn’t expect were the unwanted events, advice and situations that are thrust upon new parents whether they like it or not. My new parent pet peeves.
I’ve been a mother for over 2 years now and I finally feel in a position where I know the kind of mother I want to be. I don’t know exactly how to be that kind of mother yet and I’m still finding my feet but I’m confident enough to know what I want for myself and my family and what I need to do to achieve it.
Rewind 2 years and it was a different story. I had no idea about kids, I’d never babysat or had younger siblings or family members. I knew nothing.
When Miss M was born I, as most mothers do, developed an immediate maternal instinct. A gut feeling about what the right thing for my baby was. I didn’t always get it right but I tried to trust my gut as much as possible and had a wonderful support network of family, friends and my wonderful mothers and babies group to help me through.
I didn’t quite realise that motherhood was the huge challenge that it was and still is and along the way there have been occasions where I could have done without certain issues getting in my way of being a good mum. Those little day-to-day things that could have made my life easier!
Not many of these things can be changed – you have to learn to live with them and ignore them but nonetheless, here is are my parenting pet hates:
1. Unsolicited Advice
I’ve written a few posts on the ridiculous pregnancy and parenting advice I was given here and another on unwanted advice from old people! What’s most annoying is that it isn’t advice I even asked for – in fact, I tried to proactively dis-courage it but some people cannot help but pass on their ‘words of wisdom’.
I’m all for learning from others, especially friends and family, but advice from strangers about how I am parenting my child is generally never welcomed. Especially the constant “Is she hungry?”, “Is he cold?” etc when my babies so much as gurgled. New mums are paranoid enough about if they’re doing the right thing. How about some positive reinforcement rather than adding to the fear?!
And Sanctidaddies come to think about it. Those parents who think they know everything about everything to do with children. Especially your child apparently. How do they know everything? Because they just DO! They are so convinced that their way of parenting is the only way that everyone else should parent too and they are relentless in their mission to convert you to their way of thinking. Step away from me, Sanctimummy, I’m ready for you this time around! Not all mums and dads are alike and nor should they be and I’ve written about some of the kinds of mums I’ve encountered in my Mumcyclopedia.
I’m going to hold my hands up here and confess that for a very long time, I judged other parents often unfairly. I’ve certainly tried to learn from my mistakes in doing so since I’ve been on the receiving end of other’s judgement a few times since becoming a parent myself.
It’s all too easy to draw the wrong conclusion about situations such as a child having a ‘tantrum’ in the supermarket or a friend not wanting to have children of their own. We have no idea why people make the choices they make about their family and we have no right to know why or to judge them for it.
4. No more ‘me time’
This is a tough one – because of course, I CHOSE to have my beautiful children and I would love to spend every waking hour with them.
However it might be nice, once in a while, to go to the toilet without a little hand knocking on the door to announce they’re “coming in too”. Or to enjoy cooking a leisurely meal in the kitchen without worrying about throwing a pan of hot water over a tottering toddler under my feet.
I used to enjoy a glass of wine when I cooked dinner sometimes. Those days are definitely gone for now!
5. Topsy and Tim
Yes, Topsy and Tim. No, not the retro book heroes of your childhood. I mean the ones on CBeebies now. Have you watched it? If you have not then, I envy you. If you have, you’ll surely feel my pain.
These two 8 year olds masquerading as toddlers drive me to distraction. Which is so very upsetting since I loved the stories when I was little.
I have so many questions for that TV family. Why are you trying to convince us that these children are 4 years old when they’re almost as tall as their parents? Why have you got carpet in your kitchen? Why have you got carpet in your NEW KITCHEN? Yes, they moved house – that was dragged out over a fair few episodes. Why are T&T’s best friends two middle aged men from up the road?
What does ‘Mummy’ do all day? She isn’t cleaning that grubby wallpaper. Perhaps she’s vacuuming the kitchen? Apologies, I’m judging again.
Miss M ADORES the show. Truly loves it. Sings the theme song day in, day out. When I ask her how she wants her hair in the morning she says “like Tim’s!” (don’t ask, makes no sense).
I need to stop there, I think I could rant for a good few days about Topsy and Tim.
What are your pet hates as a parent? What annoyed you when you became a new mum or dad? What would make your life easier?