Ok firstly, sorry for the dramatic title but well, how else do I put it? I have breast cancer.
Last Wednesday I found a lump. It was hard and, well, lumpy and felt about the size of a grape. I’ve been breastfeeding for 6.5 months and have recently been weaning and put it down to a blocked duct. Given I had no other breast cancer symptoms for that or any signs of mastitis I thought it best to see my Doctor so I booked an appointment for that morning.
The Doctor decided to refer me for an ultrasound and mammogram just in case but agreed that in all likelihood, it was probably a blocked duct. I then spent the next couple of days trying to massage it away with each breastfeed but it wasn’t budging.
My Personal Breast Cancer Diagnosis
At the scan appointment, they confirmed that there was something there and they referred me for a biopsy the following Monday.
I had a Core Needle Biopsy which is when they numb the area with a local anesthetic and then use a hollow needle to remove breast tissue from the lump and the results then went to be tested.
The next few days were just horrible, waiting and waiting for the results. I called and called and was told that the results were not in until finally, on Wednesday, the Nurse said the words you don’t want to hear – “the Doctor would like you to come in to discuss your results”.
I was at work. I sobbed, just couldn’t stop. Pure devastation. Something inside my mind had told me to expect the worst, like I almost new it was coming. I’d so hoped my gut instinct was wrong. That I’d get the all clear and be able to look at my kids again without contemplating whether I would be there for their next birthday.
I have breast cancer.
It didn’t need to be said.
I called my husband who walked with me to the Doctor’s office. The longest 10-minute walk of my life in the baking heat feeling like I might just die on the spot.
We sat in the Nurse’s office for an eternity, waiting for the Doctor to be free. She confirmed it was breast cancer.
The rest of the appointment was a blur but we booked in for me to see a surgeon to talk about treatment options.
In the past couple of days, I’ve already gone through a million different emotions.
When I got the news on Wednesday I was completely devastated. Just in total shock.
My Breast Cancer Treatment Plan
How is this happening? What have I done to cause it? Should I have caught it earlier? Am I going to die? Will I never see my kids grow up? You can probably imagine. Really, really dark thoughts.
I was scared to go to bed, to be alone with my emotions. I didn’t sleep much but hey, I rarely sleep.
I surprised myself on Thursday by waking up and feeling ok. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have woken up and it to just be a dream!
The previous day I had done what you’re told not to do and I spent a LOT of time consulting Dr Google. My breast cancer is grade 3 (not to be confused with Stage) and is Triple Negative breast cancer. It’s a very aggressive form compared to others.
I decided very quickly and had talked to my Doctor about this when she gave me the results, that I would do whatever I had to do to get rid of it. To really get rid of it.
Chemotherapy and radiotherapy is certainly in my future and as much as I’m dreading it, I can’t wait to get started. The sooner I start physically fighting this, the better. I’m not trying to minimise how serious chemo is, I just want to get started and feel like I’m doing something to fight.
A bilateral mastectomy might be in my future if a lumpectomy is not sufficient.
I have a love/hate relationship with my boobs. They’re too big! I don’t mind them though and I would have never done anything to change them.
The breast cancer decided to root itself into the bigger of the two at least, so I can afford to lose a bit of that one :)
Right now I have some mixed emotions. I have a lot ahead of me and I met with the surgeon today and devised an action plan. I’ll write about that soon.
I feel so lucky to have caught it now but more than that, I have so so much to live for.
I’ve been able to carry, give birth to and breastfeed two beautiful babies. My boobs have literally given life to others. So they’re not all that bad.
I’m lucky to be in a country with one of the highest survival rates for cancer and to have a support network of the best family, friends, colleagues and specialists that anyone could possibly hope for.
Soon I’ll have tests and the results will show me what exactly I’m fighting against and whatever that is, I’ll fight it and I will win. If anyone can beat this, I can. I’m the strongest person I know and I don’t apologise for saying that. I am. I’m strong and I’ll win.
I have everything to live for and I will live each day as it comes. It’s helping me to plan only for each day and not to look too far ahead into the future. It’s less overwhelming that way and it’s keeping the dark thoughts at bay. If they pop into my head, I push them right out again.
Today I felt so confident and so positive from the moment I woke up this morning and after seeing my surgeon and coming up with a treatment plan, I feel even more confident than before.
I will do everything it takes to beat this. I will be cancer-free and living my life to the full. I do not have time for cancer, I have too much to do.
Check your boobs. Women and men. Check them every day. Check them standing up and lying down. My lump moves around and could have easily been missed for longer. Check your boobs and encourage your friends to do the same.
Ask me anything. Do not be afraid that you don’t know what to say. Talking helps, sometimes I will and sometimes I won’t want to talk about cancer but I do want to keep talking – distract me with your news, fun and laughs!
Positive thinking, a strong mind, an amazing support network, humour and exceptional medical care will get me through this. I can’t wait to write the post one day soon where I tell you I’ve beaten breast cancer.
And I WILL be writing that post and sharing my triple negative breast cancer survivor story with you! :)
For more information on breast cancer, I can recommend you visit Cancer Council NSW’s website here.
If you know of any triple negative breast cancer survivor stories, please share them with me.
Read next:
- My Triple Negative Breast Cancer Diagnosis and Treatment Plan
- My First Chemotherapy Treatment
- I have finished Chemotherapy!
- Cancer Council NSW Podcast
- One year after my Breast Cancer diagnosis
- A Gift Idea for Cancer Patients
- 5 Gift Ideas for Cancer Patients
- Thank You for your Support
PIN THIS POST:
I have breast cancer – but not for long.
Wow! You have an amazing positive attitude. Very inspiring!
My wife was diagnosed with tnbc 3 months back. She is going through standard regimen of 4AC + 12 week taxol+every 3 weeks carboplatin along with taxol. We are seeing good result and cannot feel tumor anywhere , however it seems she still needs to decide between lumpectomy vs mastectomy after chemo is completed.
I would really appreciate if you can share your experience in deciding between the two.
Thank you
Raj
Hi Raj – sending lots of love to you all! I had a lumpectomy because that’s what my surgeon advised – what does hers suggest?
You sound like a positive person. On October 3rd, 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had my first chemo this week. I’m a 37 years old mother of four. Your story gives me hope
Thanks for sharing
Oh Jasmine I wish you were not going through this – it’s a tough journey but you have the love and support of your family and you’ll get through it. Please do let me know if you have any questions or need someone to talk to. I’m just approaching my 1 year appointment. Sending you so much love x http://lovefrommim.com/wp-admin/edit-comments.php?comment_status=moderated#comments-formx x
Only now I see this as I am catching up on reading blogs. Oh my. I am so sorry to hear about this news. You sound so strong lovely. Inspiration! You will beat it! F*ck you cancer! (sorry for the swear)
Hope you are ok sweetie x
Oh thank you lovely and it absolutely can fek off ha!! x x
Mim, I can’t think of any words that won’t ring hollow. You ARE strong. Fight this. It sounds like you’ve informed yourself and gathered support around yourself. Do you know whether there’s an organization like Wonders and Worries (http://www.wondersandworries.org/) near you to provide support to the little ones?
Oh thank you so so much Sadia :) I’ll definitely investigate that, thank you for that suggestion! x x
I’ve just read your post, and just wanted to let you know you have the very best attitude to beat this! I know because on January 10th I’ll be 5years clear after also having triple negative breast cancer, a lumpectomy, my lymph nodes removed, chemo and radio therapy. It all sounds so scary at first, but armed with all the info, determination and positivity it becomes a lot easier! Life changes, but the changes in you can be amazingly positive as weird as that sounds.
Loving and living life, surrounded by family and friends pushed me forwards through it all as it will you! If you need a chat anytime, have any questions or feel like a bloody good rant just holler! Strength and love to you on your journey! X
Oh my word thank you so much and I’m just so so happy that you’re going to be 5 years clear soon! Your comment is so well timed and needed and I appreciate it so much. Sometimes this is all a bit ‘big’ and overwhelming as I’m sure you can imagine. I have so many questions for you so I will take you up on your lovely offer and email you :) x x
Goodness, the news we all dread but what positivity shines through in your words. Sending you strength and energy and lots of love. X
Thank you so so much! x x
I can only echo everyone’s wishes and hopes for you lovely lady that your attitude is totally amazing and you will have a massive virtual support network waiting here for you! Your strength is inspiring! Keep fighting we are all behind you x
Thank you so much Catie! x x
I’ve been a bit out of the blogosphere recently and have only just seen this. So sorry to hear you’re going through this and hope you’re doing ok. I’ve worked for cancer charities for years and would highly recommend cancer research uk’s website for factual information at every step. Have you just moved back to Australia? Cancer council’s info line is really good for support and advice too. Lots of love xx
Thank you SO much lovely! Cancer Council is amazing, did you ever work for them in Aus as I have? x x
Gosh it was such a shock to read this. Best of luck with treatment and have a good Xmas. Xx
Thank you so so much Min! I will totally beat this :) Hope you’re having a wonderful Christmas! x x x
This is the last thing I was expecting to read. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Can’t imagine what you’re going through, what you’re feeling.
As expected, I’m lost for words but I couldn’t not say anything. You will fight this. You will beat it.
Thinking of you all.
Xx
Oh thank you so much! I’m definitely going to beat it, already successful surgery and chemo now – it stands no chance! x
It was only seeing your lovely new haircut today that told me the news. I’m so sorry I hadn’t seen sooner. Goodness how bloody awful but thank goodness it has all been dealt with so quickly. Be strong my lovely. Huge huge hugs. xxxxx
Oh thank you lovely! It’s all going very well so far :) :) x x
You have a fantastic attitude. Hoping the treatment starts soon & you can start to kick C’s ass! xx
Thank you so much :) x
I’ve only just read this, and I am so terribly sorry. You’ve had so many life changes and this is just the pits. I am so sorry xxxx
Oh thank you Megan! It’s going to be ok :) I had a lumpectomy and they got all of it out :) Now I’m awaiting chemo and radiotherapy and I”m convinced that will finish the job and all will be well :) x
I’m sorry to hear this. We have babies a couple of weeks apart so have enjoyed reading your posts. My mum had breast cancer a few years ago and did what it took to get through the other side. She’s been in remission for 4 years now. I’m so glad they’ve spotted it and you can be surrounded with the love of your family and friends, and also (less important) us the mummy blogging community. Best wishes for the process and a spray recovery!
Yvadney x
I’m so so happy about your mum being in remission! You do whatever you have to do :) Thank you so so much for your lovely comment x
I’m so sorry to hear about this, but I love you attitude, and I can’t wait to celebrate your cancer free state. God bless you and your beuatiful family. x
Thank you lovely! We will be celebrating asap if I have my way :) x
You are one absolutely incredible lady! Wishing you all the love and luck in the world. I’m looking forward to reading about how you’ve kicked cancers arse xxx
Oh thank you! I’m going to kick this in the ass ASAP!! And the boobs ha ha!! x x
You’re amazing! The positive attitude, the will to fight it, I have no doubt that you will if you continue to think that way. I, for one, will be cheering you on the entire way. Good luck and keep strong xxx lots of love xxx
Oh thank you so much! x
Mim, I’ve had such a busy few weeks that I am only just catching up on posts. So sorry for the late response.
Can I just say how bloody amazing you are? Your children will be so very proud of you when they grow up to learn that you were so positive about this and that you beat cancer’s arse. We are with you every step of the way and sending all the love and support always xxx
Thank you so so much lady! x
Oh, oh fuck. I’m so sorry for such a scary diagnosis but SO glad that you were proactive and it’s been caught so early. You are going to beat this and we, your online, community, are going to be here for you. Please lean on us if we can help. xx
Oh thank you so so much Amber!! x
Oh Mim i’m so sorry to hear this. The word Cancer scares me so much. I don’t check myself because i don’t know what to look for. I need to make an appointment with my doctor so she can show me what i need to do. Love the bravery of your post xx
Thank you lovely lady! Definitely make the appointment and your doc will show you exactly how to check :) x x
I’m so sorry to hear this but wanted to say how impressed I am with your attitude, I look forward to reading your post in the future to let us all know you’ve beaten this! No-one should have to go through this. Xx
Thank you so so much and I can’t wait to write it :) x
I am so sorry to be reading this, just when you have had a baby and moved. Life can be so cruel at times. I love your positive outlook on this and I have every faith that with that attitude you will beat this. Sending you lots of love xx
Thank you Lindsay x x
So sorry to hear this! What dreadful news, but you have taken such a good stance on it all. All the best and good luck with the treatment! And I am looking forward to reading that post of yours where you tell us you are now rid of the horrible disease!
Thank you! x x
I am in utter awe of you, your attitude and thought for others is incredible. I’ll be thinking of you and your family xxx
Oh thank you! x
So sorry to read this. Best of luck and lots of big hugs xxx
Thank you so so much! x
Oh what a turn of events. Good on you for getting it checked out and going straight into treatment. I’m sure you’ll kick its ass.
Thank you Vanessa! x
What an inspiring post! Taking charge of your situation instead of letting it take charge of you. I have had many family members and friends fight cancer- my dad fought and is 100% cancer free after 5 yrs after a bought w/stage 4 throat cancer. He never thought it would win, he just dove in to treatment and in his mind after treatment he would be good. And he was, and continues to be.
I am sorry you are going through this- obviously. But Your attitude and strength are very inspiring and I hope others in your situation see this and draw strength from you.
Bravo.
Thank you so so much and I’m so happy about your dad! I will beat this too :) x
I wish you the best of luck! What an amazing attitude to have and to share aswell. From all the messages it shows how much support you have x
Thank you so much! x
Mim, my positive thoughts are with you and you family. Love to you all xx
Thank you lovely x x
Gosh what a headline! I know you will get through this and admire you for sharing what’s happened on here. Will be checking in on here over the coming weeks and months to see you writing ‘that’ post :) x
Thank you Clare x x
I’m so sorry for your diagnosis, but so grateful for your positive spirit! It will take you far in your fight against this disease that I pray our kids won’t ever have to deal with. Show that lump who is boss! xo
Thank you Joy! x
I have never met you. But I do know this : you are a mum and we are freakin’ AMAZING! You will fight your butt off and you will beat dirty, stinkin’ cancer! You will do whatever it takes and you will be inspirational and powerful. Amazingly brave sharing. You are all over this, Mim. xxx
Thank you thank you Anna! x
I am so sorry you are going through this! Wishing you the best of luck with the treatment and with an attitude like yours you will beat it! Sending love and hugs x
Thank you so much Kim – I WILL beat this! x
This is just the last thing I expected to read. I am literally in tears reading this. I really hope it all works out ok. You are so, so strong. Thinking of you all x
Oh lovely thank you so so much! I’m going to get through this and beat it well and truly! :) x x
Such a sad story but such a positive outlook! Good luck lady! If there’s anything you need from me and the rest of the blogging community just say! You know we are here for you! Xx
You are absolutely lovely, thank you Clare x x
I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for you. Your attitude about it though is inspiring! What an example you are to your kids especially. Can’t wait to see a post someday about how you’re cancer free! Best of wishes to you and your family!
Thank you Kayla! x
I am so sorry to hear this, gosh I hate cancer. Fight it with everything you have and I look forward to reading when you beat. Your post has made me realise I must check mine more often. My thoughts are with you x
Thank you Laura x and yes, check check check! x
So strong & open & positive. With your terrific attitude and your proactive medical team you have everything you need to conquer cancer. My very best wishes to you as you go through recovery x
Thank you so much Robyn! x
Your positivity is admirable. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way, and some love too xxx
Thank you so so much Rachel x x
You are so very strong and your attitude is absolutely perfect, you will beat this. Sending bucket loads of love, strength and positivity your way xxx
Thank you so much lovely! x
Oops hit send…you’re so brave for sharing – I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, hopefully blogging about it will help. It sounds like you’re getting the help you need quickly… I’m off to check my boobs right now xxxxx
Ha ha! Yes check check check!! x
Oh my goodness what a shock – I can’t imagine how you must be fee
It was the biggest shock of my life, horrible, but seems like such a long time ago now :) x
You will beat this!!! Thank you for being so honest and incredibly positive!!!
Thank you so much Anna! x
I’m so sorry to read this. Thinking of you all and wishing you a speedy recovery, and looking forward to reading THAT post to say you’ve beaten it, which I know you will :) Sending lots of hugs your way xxx
Thank you Nicola, I can’t wait to write that post too! x
I’m so sorry to hear this! What an amazing outlook and attitude you have. You are strong enough to beat this and you will. Prayers and positive vibes coming your way lovely xx
Thank you so much Kat! x
I’m so sorry to hear your news, my Mum was diagnosed nearly 10 years ago, and since then has had recurrences twice, but after chemo twice, radiotherepy, herceptin, tamoxifen and a mastectomy, she’s now been completely clear for 5 years, is no longer on any drugs at all. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now, but tell yourself that you WILL survive, yes it will be hellish to go through chemo and radiotherapy, but you can do it, and once you have, whether or not you have to have a mastectomy, it is all in order to survive and you can get through this. Use your support network as much as you can and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it! Sending all the good vibes and love across from the other side of the world, Alice xxxx
http://www.woodenwindowsills.co.uk
Oh Alice thank you so so much! I’m so delighted that your mum is 5 years clear! What a desperately difficult journey but oh my word what an amazingly strong and wonderful mummy she is! Thank you for sharing that with me :) x
So sorry to read this. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family x
Thank you so much! x
I’ve only just read this Mim sweetheart and I am so sorry x you’ve got my eyes watering reading this, I really hope everything goes well and you recover as quickly as possible. Will now stop spouting the crap things people always say when they don’t know what to say and just say you know where I am if you need a rant.
Lots of love Stevie xxx
Oh lovely you’re amazing thank you so so much!! x x
Wow. Such a scary time for you but your attitude is inspirational. Good luck with your treatment and I really look forward to reading that you beat it.x
Thank you Kiri! x
Really sorry to read this. You are so strong and have a totally amazing and positive attitude that will get you through this. Sending you lots of love, hugs and positivity for your treatment xx
Thank you so so much Sam! x
I am so sorry to read this. I have followed your blog for a while now. Your attitude is amazing – you go girl. And you have made me go and check my breasts – naively because I’m breastfeeding I haven’t done it for ages. Sending love, Charlie xx
Thank you lovely! And yes please do as I was the same :) x x
Mim, you are absolutely amazing!
I’m sorry to hear your news but you have exactly the mindset that you need to beat the cancer and you WILL WIN!
It’s so difficult to distinguish lumps when you are breastfeeding.
I have a lump in my right boob that I had checked in 2011 and after doing the biopsy and ultrasound, I was told it was just lumpy breast tissue. I’m still worried about it sometimes.
Thank you for sharing and helping other women (and men) to check their breasts.
All the best and I’m looking forward to your post when you’ve beaten breast cancer! I believe in you! xxx :)
Thank you so much lovely for your amazing words! You’re filling me with confidence! x x
So sorry to read this, made me so emotional to see this and will definitely get checked over. You will beat this, you have done the best thing by getting checked already. Your thoughts and positivity is inspiring, keep going wonderful x x x
Oh thank you! x
Good luck, the treatment can be tough but is totally manageable as long as you are open and honest with oncology. It’s a year of your life and everyone reacts differently to treatment but don’t let it rule your life. Keep positive X
Thank you so so much Emma! x
Mim, you are totally awesome and you ARE going to beat this, without a shadow of a doubt. Sending huge amounts of love your way Xx
Oh thank you Maddy!! x
I am so sorry to read this post. You have such an amazing outlook and attitude though which is so amazing to read. my thought are with you on this journey xx
Thank you so much lovely x
what a wonderful attitude you have in such a tough time, you will beat this, especially with such positivity x
Thank you lovely – I’m determined to stay positive :) x
You are such an amazing lady, you WILL beat this. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with it. I am sending you so much love and positive thoughts your way. xxxxx
Thank you so much lovely – I WILL beat it!! x
Oh my goodness I am so sorry to read this. You brave brave lady what a wonderful attitude and that is what you need to fight it! My thoughts are with you all the way!! Xx
Thank you lovely! x
Mim, you are awesome and you are about to kick seven shade of sh#t out of cancer’s a#s. I have no doubt. Much love xxxx
Hee hee thank you lovely and I will!! x
Your positivity and outlook is amazing, inspiring, and testament to what a strong person you are. Words fail me because they can’t make it go away, but I wish you a speedy recovery. Xxxx
Thank you so much lovely! x
Oh gosh..wow…what an incredible story. I am wishing you all the good health and luck for treatment and positive mind will get you through it. Brilliant writing, it made me cry, by the power of you emotions and style. xxx
Thank you so much Lynn! x
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But my goodness your words are so inspirational. You’re so strong and you’re going to beat this. Sending you lots of love and positivity xxx
Oh thank you very much! x
Oh my gosh Mim! I don’t know what to say! Life is a absolute bitch. I wish you all the best and look forward to reading your post about beating this mofo ;) xxx
Thank you so so much! x
Oh mim I so hoped it was a blocked duct for you. Sending you lots of virtual hugs and a massive load of positive thoughts xx
Thank you so much lady! x
Mim there’s not a whole lot I can say at a time like this except for you to keep the positive attitude you already possess. I’m not a survivor but I’ve been through a scare and of course it doesn’t compare but I have empathy for being in the position of waiting to hear from the doctors and pathologist. I know how hard it is to stay positive through that. In saying that I know that you are way stronger than I was, at the time. And I’m sending you blessings down under to get you through your treatment. Just from this post I can tell that you have what it takes to make sure that you’ll come out the other side healthy and stronger than before.
Thank you so so much lady! x
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your attitude is amazing though and I have no doubt you will fight this. Cancer won’t know what hit it. I will look forward to the day we are all reading THAT post you mention. Thoughts with you xx
Thank you lovely!! x
You’re amazingly brave to share this so soon after finding out. Thinking of you and I hope being able to blog helps you along the way x
Thank you so much lady! x x
Oh Mim, I’m so sorry to read this I can’t believe it! You have such a great attitude, you will beat it. I’m there for you, if virtually x
Thank you so much lovely! x
I’m sorry my lovely! I have no doubt in my mind you’ll beat it, positive thinking is key! Here if you ever need to talk, I rarely sleep too so I’m up most nights! all my love! Steph | http://www.RaisingEmily.net
Thank you lovely, that’s brilliant! I don’t sleep either ha ha!! x
I think the value of positivity in beating disease is hugely underrated. It counts for a lot and you are by far the most positive. You might have physically left the UK but we UK bloggers count you as one of our own and we’ll be with you every step of the way. Stay positive xxx
I completely agree – positivity is the key here! I so appreciate your support and friendship x x
Lovely lady if anyone can beat this with your amazing can-do attitude it’s you! And we are all behind you 100%. Sending huge virtual hugs xxx
Thank you beautiful!!! x
I’m so unbelievably sorry that you’re going through this at the moment. I’m glad you have a platform to share this and vent your feelings. I think your attitude is fantastic and I honestly believe that positivity is key to regaining your health and I’m sure you’ll get through this. I know people who have been given the terminal status and a few months to live, a year or so later they’re still going strong with no signs of slowing down and I think their positive attitude and support is a big part of that. There are so many options now and you can totally beat this.
Best of luck hun, well done for sharing and thoughts are with you and your family xx
Sophie Elizabeth
http://www.popcornandglitter.co.uk
Thank you lovely and I completely agree – positivity will get me through this!! x
I am so sad to read this, so sad I have no words. But the fight in you makes me smile. Go kick cancers ar*e. Good luck with treatment my lovely xx
Thank you lovely and I will!! x
I’ve got nothing to say that will make it better but I couldn’t not say something. Firstly how amazing that you are so positive you are going to beat this so soon after finding out. I know you will of course. Secondly I’m really glad you got checked so fast, a lot of people wouldn’t have bothered!
Sending you love hugs and all the positive vibes ever xx
Thank you so so much Lauren! x
Sending you much love and positive vibes as possible. I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, you can beat this and I look forward to reading that post.
Thank you so much – I’ll definitely be writing that post! x
I am so sorry lovely but you have the best attitude! Wishing you the best for the treatment and look forward to your ‘I beat cancer’ post ???? xx
Thank you so much lady!! x
I’m so sorry to read this. I think you have the right attitude and I wish you all the love and luck in the world for your treatment x x x
Thank you so much lovely, I really appreciate that! I’m going to win win win! x