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How to Come To Terms With Loss

Coming To Terms With Loss is a guest post by Beth at Twinderelmo

At the end of April it will be three years since my beloved Mother passed away.

She was diagnosed with terminal cancer out of the blue, three weeks after my twin daughters were born. Unbeknownst to us, she was told she had six months to live.

To say it came as a bolt out of the blue is an understatement. My Mom never learned to drive so walked everywhere. She was 59 and as fit as a fiddle but that day in July 2013 changed us all forever.


My Mom was the strongest person I ever have had the pleasure of knowing, not to mention the most stubborn so when she was told 6 months, she decided she wanted 9 months. The day she passed away I felt like our family unit died too.

Growing up, it was my Mom, Dad and older sister. As a family we were so incredibly close, all living a few minutes from each other. Mom was undoubtedly the head of the family and I wasn’t sure how we would cope.

I was 28 when my 59 year old Mother passed away. I had a 4 year old son and almost 10 month old twin daughters yet I regressed to feeling like a child myself. I was so angry, so upset, so devastated that she had gone forever.

Coping with Loss

Writing the title of this post was something I never ever thought I’d be able to do. I would desperately spend hours trying to find something on the internet that would give me a magic cure yet everyone told me time would help.

Time? Time isn’t going to change a thing!

It’s not going to bring her back. My anger was incredibly hard to suppress.

Here I sit, three years down the line and feel I have finally accepted my Mother passing away. You see, life is so unpredictable.

Whilst I have come to terms with losing my precious Mother, I will never forget her. But now I look back and smile.

I appreciate what I had and although it’s hard knowing I can’t share the future with her, I look around.

My Mom got to meet all her Grandchildren. She got to see me get married. She knew how much she was loved and adored. Focusing on the positives makes it all seem bearable.

Of course, there are hard days. I find the random ones the hardest; songs coming on the radio that instantly take me back to a date or some important news that I’d so love to share.

Losing someone you love leaves you with so many emotions. Who is to say what is wrong and what is right?

All I can say is, there will be a day when you will smile again. When you can look back fondly and smile.

I genuinely didn’t think it’d ever happen but I’m here. I’m smiling. I’m living life to the full.

I had a wonderful Mother and I hope that, one day, my babies will say the same of me.

Follow Beth here: Blog | Facebook | Instagram

Read next:


Tips on coming to terms with Loss of your Mother - Love from Mim #loss #death #family #mourning #grief #cancer

I hope Beth’s experience of coping with loss has helped you.


1 Comment

  1. Annie
    / 5:47 am

    My dear Beth, you are a precious young woman. The love and truth you expressed in your post taught me a few things. I’m a woman in my 50’s, married, have grown, married son’s and four young grandchildren. My parents are elderly and I’m close to both. I worry constantly how I will live without them some day. Worrying won’t keep them on this Earth but making memories with them will always keep them in my heart. Thank you! Your mother is very proud of you and the grace you have dealt with losing her. Also, I’m very sure your children will say the same about you. ♥

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I acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land I work and live on, the Awabakal peoples, and pay my respects to Elders past and present.
I thank them wholeheartedly and express my love and gratitude for the privilege to live and work in such a beautiful part of the world and for the opportunity for my family to be part of this vibrant and supportive community.