I’m not the mum I thought I was going to be and it’s taken me a few years to accept that I’m ok with that. More than ok, actually. Because I’m a good enough mum.
I’ve always been maternal and always wanted babies of my own.
I fantasized about the hours I would spend in a rocking chair cuddling my peaceful newborn. But that didn’t work out because the first one cried incessantly for the first two months and wouldn’t sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time. I’m still tired now from that phase.
Then I’d picture myself running around parks chasing my toddler. Or building lego towers on the floor until they crashed down and we rolled around laughing.
But I’m not really a runner. And that promise that other mums pledged of how I would “lose the baby weight quickly chasing after a toddler”? Well, I think it might have been a little bit of a lie.
Because they didn’t run. And I didn’t need to chase. And I over-indulged on Tim Tams and oops, hello weight gain.
These are just two of the measures I’d put in place to deem myself a “good mum”. Which, I now know, is silly.
I thought I’d be the most hands-on, “do everything” parent there was. I thought I would want to spend every second of every day with my children.
But there was no guidebook on how to be a good mother. So I winged it – and I still am.
Why Am I A Good Enough Parent?
Well, I realised that I don’t have to be ALL things to my kids. And I don’t have to be perfect. Because who is?
My kids are happy, healthy, clothed, clean and fed.
They laugh, smile, cuddle each other and tell each other how much they love each other. (Oh, my heart!). They also push and shove each other and pull each other’s hair.
They eat a balanced diet and love fruit and vegetables. They also eat McDonalds and lollies sometimes.
They’re well-behaved, sweet and beautiful kids who have their moments of being feral and noisy AF.
But they’re fine – more than fine. We’re doing a good job with them.
We do the best we can with the time, energy and money we have. I’m lucky to have a lot of support and thank goodness for that because I need it.
So I might not be the mum I thought I was going to be – some Mary Poppins-type. But I look at my kids and I know that whatever it is that I am doing, it’s working.
To me, being a good enough mother means being a mum that is present as much as I can be.
My kids know that I love them, that I’m here for them and that they can rely on me for anything.
So I’m going to stop beating myself up for not being the “best” parent in the world and feeling like a failure. I’m perfectly happy with being the imperfect parent that I am.
Good enough parenting is more than enough.
Would you call yourself a good enough mum?
- 5 Things I Regret Doing After Having Kids
- What to Expect as a New Mother
- I’m So Done Having Babies
- 5 Things I Tell Myself as a Good Enough Mum: By Ani Tuna
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Are you happy to be a good enough mum?