No, seriously, have you seen my opinions? I appear to have lost most of them.
Confused? I suppose it depends on how long you’ve know me. Pre-blog even.
Back in the day, not that long ago really, I was perhaps the most opinionated person in my circle of friends. Not obnoxiously so (I hope), but always very firm in what I believed was right or wrong, interesting or not.
Not too many grey areas, only some. I knew who I was, what I wanted and definitely what I wanted for other people. Ok, the latter hasn’t changed much, I’m still very forthcoming with giving advice on how I think my friends should live their lives. Charitably, I don’t even wait for them to ask me. They love me for that I’m sure.
These days though, I seem to be happy sitting atop all of the fences and I can’t decide why.
Am I fearful of drama? Am I wise enough to know what is and what is not important now? Or, God forbid, am I just boring? It’s rhetorical, don’t you dare answer that last one.
Over time, I’ve literally shushed myself.
It doesn’t help that, working from home, I don’t even have any colleagues to push my helpful advice on to in an actual conversation.
Cancer scared the crap out of me of course and made me yearn for a simple and carefree life. So I suppose I don’t seek out any unnecessary drama these days and I back away from most confrontational situations.
So I suppose my life is much more simple these days.
I just don’t want to be boring though and I wonder if I’ve lost my spark. I’m proud of the posts I put out on this blog but I think they’ve taken somewhat of a “middle of the road” turn in the past year or so.
I’ll never be one to purposefully create drama off- or online. I don’t yearn for any of my posts to ever go viral. I have no interest in provoking heated debates. You won’t find click bait on my corner of the internet.
I do miss the humour though, as a writer. I mean, I used to be funny at times I think. Maybe I’ve lost my spark a little bit there but I want to get it back.
I suppose some of us, as we get older, mellow a bit and that’s probably a good thing in many respects. A lot of us are parents and are role models to impressionable, small people.
But hang on a minute, I’m pretty sure a lot of people get more outspoken with age! We all know that older person who gives absolutely no shits what she or he says. Isn’t that one of the benefits of getting old? That you can pretty much say and do what you like because you’ve paid your dues?
I’m just ready for a bit more fun and to get back to being like my old self again. We’ll see.
Do you feel like you’re less opinionated as you get older or more than you were before?