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I Thought My Body Was Broken (So I Fixed That)

Sponsored by Modibodi.

I posted this image on Instagram recently but it was the caption that seemed to really hit home with others.

So, I’m sharing it here now:

View this post on Instagram

Hello – I’m Mim. I am a daughter. I am a little sister. I am a mother of two children. I am a wife. I am a best friend. I am 41. I am obsessed with Outlander. I am scared of spiders. I am vegan. I am sexy and flirtatious. I am a breast cancer survivor. I am a non-drinker. I am a planner addict. I am an author. I am an extrovert. I am a high D and I. I am kind. I am a loyal and loving friend. I am in awe of people who run. I am English and Australian. I am sometimes extremely sad for no obvious reason. I am an insomniac. I am always wondering if could be a better mum. I am following my dreams. I am the most grounded when standing on the sand and watching the ocean. I am hopeful to one day pass through the stones. I am not afraid of people. I am almost at peace with knowing that some people do not like me and never will. I am sensitive to others’ moods. I am funny AF. I am a private, over-sharer. I am tone deaf and I don’t care. I am no longer in mourning for the carefree, pre-cancer life I once had. I am creating new peace every day. I am a daily meditator. I am a magnet for big-hearted people. I am a manifestor. I am more uncomfortable in my skin than I want to be and working on standing taller. I am getting better each day. I am brave. I am loved. I am enough. . Tell me – who are you? . I was inspired to write this after a presentation by @juliacmaybe and @sarahatlarge at @lisacorduff’s amazing mastermind retreat last week. I could write so much more – but this sums up where I am now – and I’m always growing. . I think often we don’t take the time to stop and look at ourselves, because we’re so focused on the others’ in our lives. Do you agree? . So, I dare you to take a few moments to write down who you are x x . #iamenough #iamshe #iam #selfaware #behappynow #iamloved

A post shared by MIM JENKINSON (@lovefrommim) on

Sponsored by Modibodi.

The caption reads:

Hi, I’m Mim.
I am a daughter.
I am a little sister.
I am a mother of two children.
I am a wife.
I am a best friend.
I am 41.
I am obsessed with Outlander.
I am scared of spiders.
I am vegan.
I am sexy and flirtatious.
I am a breast cancer survivor.
I am a non-drinker.
I am a planner addict.
I am an author.
I am an extrovert.
I am a high D and I.
I am kind.
I am a loyal and loving friend.
I am in awe of people who run.
I am English and Australian.
I am sometimes extremely sad for no obvious reason.
I am an insomniac.
I am always wondering if I could be a better mum.
I am following my dreams.
I am the most grounded when standing on the sand and watching the ocean.
I am hopeful to one day pass through the stones.
I am not afraid of people.
I am almost at peace with knowing that some people do not like me and never will.
I am sensitive to others’ moods.
I am funny AF.
I am a private, over-sharer.
I am tone deaf and I don’t care.
I am no longer in mourning for the carefree, pre-cancer life I once had.
I am creating new peace every day.
I am a daily meditator.
I am a magnet for big-hearted people.
I am a manifestor.
I am more uncomfortable in my skin than I want to be and working on standing taller. I am getting better each day.
I am brave.
I am loved.
I am enough.


Did you notice that I highlighted this one:

I am more uncomfortable in my skin than I want to be and working on standing taller. I am getting better each day.

The last time I felt truly at ease in my skin – I mean really happy, secure and comfortable – I think I was 14 years old. I wouldn’t have wanted to change much at that point, I expect.

But now?

Now I have times when I feel that my body is broken.

I’ve gained weight over the years.

I have stretch marks from gaining and losing that weight. Then gaining and losing is again and again.

I have scars from acne, wounds, falls and surgeries.

I have peripheral neuropathy after chemo, deep scars after a lumpectomy and a ‘smiley face’ keloid scar that covers where my portacath lived for six months.

Chemo also aged me physically, set off an anxiety bomb for a long time and screwed over my hormones. The gift that keeps giving.

And I’m pretty sure after two pregnancies my ribs have rehoused themselves where they shouldn’t.

For the longest time, I’ve stood in front of the mirror every day and told myself that my body is broken.

I mean yes, with time and a hell of a lot of money, I could fix some of the external issues. But it wasn’t the external issues that were really getting me down.

It was the feeling that my body wasn’t enough. Not enough to protect me and keep me safe.

After being diagnosed with cancer, I felt like my body had failed me. It was attacking me from within. Had I mistreated my body, or was it mistreating me? Maybe both?

And I can’t tell you now that these feelings of ingratitude, shame, disappointment and fear are all gone – that wouldn’t be true.

Mim Jenkinson

But I’m making progress with becoming more peaceful with the body I have and living in the skin I’m in. Here are a few of the ways I’m making progress:

How I’m proactively becoming more body confident

1. I tell myself I love myself every day, many times

“I love myself, I love myself, I love myself.” Seriously. The more you look into the mirror, deep into your eyes and tell yourself this, the more you will start to love yourself.

It’s a quote from a transformational book called “Love yourself like your life depends on it” by Kamal Ravikant. It kickstarted the habit of telling myself every day how much I love myself.

I don’t need to say why I love myself, just that I do. It’s a given.

This beautiful book guides you through the different ways we can start to love our mind, body and spirit through positive stories, mirror talk, repetition and meditation. The best part is, it’s easy to start and once you do start, you instantly reap the rewards.

You can buy the book here in Australiahere in the US and here in the UK.

2. I dress for my hormones

Allow me to explain.

The combo of being 41, having had two babies and chemo has sent my hormones into a little bit of a free fall.

The periods – sometimes they come, sometimes they don’t. The PMS – well that comes every month either way. #soblessed. Bloating, sore boobs, acne and random acts of tearfulness show up every month without fail.

This also means that for 1-2 weeks each month, I feel a little like crap – I’m just uncomfortable. So, the clothing I wear isn’t about covering up to give me confidence, it’s about being comfortable.

I wear Modibodi underwear all month round that is not only high-quality, supportive and sexy but also gives me the confidence in knowing that should a random period show it’s merry face, I’m a-ok.

Which means that clothes-wise, I can wear whatever. Well, when I say ‘whatever’, that’s likely still going to be leggings but details.

More about Modibodi below.

Modibodi Sensual Hi Waist Briefs - Love from Mim

3. I’m changing from the inside out

Finally, I’m working on my ‘stories’.

You might have noticed that some of the descriptions above about my body are subjective. In fact, the very title of this post is subjective too – and by telling myself that my body is broken, I’m just lying to myself.

Because my body still works, still holds me up and still protects me. And how ungrateful to say otherwise.

The habit of telling myself horrible things about my body has been almost a lifelong practice – but it’s one I’m working on changing by:

  • telling myself that I love myself
  • eating foods that nourish me and make me feel good
  • making time to move every day
  • actually listening when my husband compliments me
  • stopping comparing myself to insta-fabulous women
  • stopping telling myself horrible lies about how my body is a failure.

I also meditate daily and during this time, I allow myself to feel confident, strong and powerful. I listen to a particular binaural beat track that promotes self-confidence.

These things together are helping me to stop fixating on what I don’t love about myself and spend more time in gratitude, peace and acceptance.

About Modibodi

Modibodi is the go-to range of undies, swimwear and maternity underwear for many Aussie women. They use high quality, breathable and tech-savvy fabrics like Bamboo, Merino Perform Wool and Microfibre and their patented Modifier Technology™ is a super slim stain-resistant lining for modern periods and leaks.

The range includes undies for every occasion, from every day to active to sexy and sensual. In fact, the Sensual Briefs are my all-time faves.

Apart from the confidence and comfort I get from wearing Modibodi undies, I love their messaging too.

From their campaigns to their Insta feed, it’s real. Real women with real bodies. I just can’t relate to perfection: it’s unachievable and damaging. Modibodi embraces real women which is why I love to share them with you.

If you’re looking for a brand that focuses on promoting body confidence in all women with a sustainable, reusable product you’ll love, you can check out Modibodi here.

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I acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land I work and live on, the Awabakal peoples, and pay my respects to Elders past and present.
I thank them wholeheartedly and express my love and gratitude for the privilege to live and work in such a beautiful part of the world and for the opportunity for my family to be part of this vibrant and supportive community.