My Post Cancer Bucket List Update
You might remember that back in June, I’d just finished chemo for Triple Negative Breast Cancer and was almost done with radiation and I wrote a list of the things I wanted to start achieving. So here is my Post Cancer Bucket List update!
1. Grow some hair
I’ve grown some! It’s growing sooooo slowly though but it’s getting there. I’ve even had a couple of mini hair cuts just to tidy it up and get it into something that resembles a ‘style’.
2. Rubbing my eyes
By this I meant I wanted my eyelashes to grow back strongly so that I could really rub my eyes without worrying that I might rub them all off again!
Well now I can! It hasn’t all been uphill though as although my eyelashes grew back lovely and long, they all fell out again. Every last one sob sob! However they’ve since grown back so all good. I have to expect that they might fall out a few more times I suppose and one day I hope they’ll get back to what they were.
Oh wow it feels good to really rub my eyes!
I’m getting there but it’s an ongoing process and as I suspected, I doubt I’ll ever truly ‘heal’. Physically I have some pain where from the surgery and radiation but it’s managed with paracetamol.
I don’t sleep much.
Every day that goes by though, and every day I remain cancer-free, helps me to come to terms with embracing my new life now for what it is.
I try to not dwell on what has happened because it does me no good to. That said, I’m approaching my 1 year appointment in the next month and I know I’m going to get anxious in the run up to that and when I have my ultrasound and mammogram.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me that the scans come back clear. I really feel that they will.
I’ve never been a particularly anxious person but I do have it occasionally now. I have nightmares, not about cancer but I imagine because of it. When I hear about people whose cancer has returned, I’ll be honest, it plunges me into depression. It’s the worst fear. As they recommend though, I can only live each day at a time and focus on the here and now. There is no point fixating on what might never happen, is there?
4. Getting fitter
I’m no fitter unfortunately but I have lost more weight! I’ve lost 9.5kgs of the 10kgs I put on during my cancer treatment and I have so much more energy as the chemicals have left my body. So YAY to that and I intend to keep the weight loss going!
5. Having my Portacath removed
This little beggar is still in situ and I’ve decided to keep it in until at least I (hopefully) get the 1 year ‘all-clear’. I think then I might get it removed as it’s uncomfortable and makes sleep difficult. Sleep is hard enough for me – I’m an insomniac, I don’t need anything else adding to that!
As a busy mum of 2 little ones, I haven’t had much opportunity to get out and party but I have when I could!
I’ve had a couple of lovely nights out in Sydney including a lovely stay at the Novotel Darling Harbour and last month went to Pacific Palms for the weekend with my family and friends and had the best time involving quite a bit of wine!
7. Going on a Date Night
Fail! This has not happened yet.
8. Having a Family Holiday
Yes we did this! As mentioned above, we went to Pacific Palms for the weekend and had a really lovely family holiday. I’d have loved it to be a week in Bali but this was a brilliant start!
So that’s my Post Cancer Bucket List update and I’m pretty happy with how I’m tracking.
I know by my 1 year appointment I’ll be back to the weight that I was when I was diagnosed and hopefully I’ll be even lighter.
I’m focusing on remaining positive, happy and hopeful and the messages of support I get from you guys continues to will me on so Thank You!
Check your breasts, people x