Happy Thursday to you! How is your week going?
Now Then Never – Week 3
I’ve been a busy bee – not helped too much by the fact that the kids have both been off day care. I can’t remember the last time I got a full week’s work under my belt. I’m sure some of you can relate!
Of course I love the extra time with them, don’t get me wrong. But I’ve finally found a job I love too. As a self-employed parent, there’s a lot of pressure on me to make the most of my working hours. I don’t get sick pay or carers pay or even holiday pay. I’m not complaining – working from home and working for myself has soooo many benefits for me and my little family.
So this week I’m enjoying the extra cuddles and squeezing in work when I can.
It’s my birthday in a couple of month’s time and I’ll be 39 – yay! I’m thrilled to be another year older. It got me thinking though, while I embrace getting older now, I didn’t always.
I remember turning 25 and feeling like my life wasn’t really going anywhere. I remember feeling disappointed that I hadn’t done much with my life – I was only 25!! Then a couple of years later I set off travelling around the world. I met my husband in China, emigrated to Australia after just a few weeks, got married and had two kids. So things kind of accelerated quickly at that point.
Then there was the cancer of course – that was a bit of a bump in the road (boob) to say the least.
If I could go back to “25 year old Mim”, I’d tell her to put the brakes on. To breathe.
I’d tell her to drink a little less and exercise a little more. To strengthen her mind and body because the future that lies ahead will depend on both to see her through.
I’d tell her not to worry that her left boob was a bit bigger, fate is planning something fun to sort that little issue out.
Her heart has been hurt, once even broken. But it’s about to burst and grow bigger than she thought possible.
More than anything though, I’d convince her that she wasn’t old and that she has many exciting, wonderful and fulfilling years to come.
Well since I only have a couple more months of being 38, I suppose I’m never going to have these days again!
One thing I’ve talked about from time to time on the blog is my struggle with weight gain and losing weight.
Before I got pregnant with Miss I was overweight. Two pregnancies and cancer treatment later and I weigh more now than I did five years ago. I’m around 8kgs more than when I got married and I want to get down to that. I felt comfortable at that weight.
That weight is still another 9kgs more than when I first moved to Australia ten years ago though. That’s my longer term goal, to get to that. To lose 17kgs. Gulp.
I’m really lacking in willpower. Well I go through times of being super motivated but not enough to make a big difference.
I don’t know, I kind of thought the cancer diagnosis would be enough to shock me into making changes – and I certainly have made some. I’ve lost the 10kgs I put on during treatment, finally. It isn’t enough though.
I bounce between wanting to make changes and live a healthy and long life to feeling like I’ve lost control and should do what I want for the little time I might have left. Please don’t judge me for this, I know how selfish and stupid it is.
Anyway, that’s my share for the week. I never want to be this weight or more again. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. To look at photos of myself and not cringe at how different I now look.
I just want to be happy and strong and I do want to live a healthy and long life.
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful week x x