The Conversation That Changed My Life

I would say that I’ve always been a ‘glass half full’ and optimistic person. That said though, there have been times in my life where I’ve truly thought “this is just not fair”. Until the conversation that changed my life.

One such time was a few years back in the workplace.

Everything was going swimmingly until a new Manager was hired above me.

The team was promised that this new person would bring a wealth of experience, skills and guidance and I was excited about the ways I would benefit from that. I love to learn.

Unfortunately this wasn’t really the case. It turned out that, in my opinion, that their skill set was completely mismatched to the role. They also had no interest in encouraging, coaching or developing me. In fact, from my perspective, it seemed like they viewed their role as sitting on a throne, barking out orders and taking credit for work they had not been involved in. I grew resentful quickly.

I started to dread coming to work, to a job I loved and in an organisation I adored.

More than that though, I really started to demonise this person in my mind. I felt like they were my glass ceiling, preventing me from any opportunities to progress and develop.

It drove me to distraction.

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Stressed woman at work

Talking to a Professional

That conversation was with a Life Coach. Nick Freedman. (at the end of this post are some great things from Nick for you too).

I had a session booked with Nick through my workplace to learn more about how I could coach the people working for me.

However by the time the appointment came along, I was so stressed out by my work situation that I put my head on his desk and told him I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t think straight for myself, let alone talk about how I might help others.

I was all-consumed by the negative experiences I was having with my Manager. How their very presence was sending me in a constant spiral of doom and upset.

Nick listened to me while I had a rant about how I basically thought this person was the actual Devil whose only mission in life was to make me miserable and cut short my blossoming career.

I may have cried.

I probably cried!

Then Nick, acknowledging what I had said, asked me a very simple question. He asked me what I wanted.

What did I want to happen?

Of course I said I wanted this Manager gone and my happy work situation to resume.

Nick wasn’t buying that.

He asked me more questions. What did I want my job to be? What career would make me really happy? How much did I want to earn? Where did I want to be in 5 years time?

We talked for hours about my answers to these questions and it turned out that I hadn’t been giving my career much thought at all.

While I had been happy in my job and with my company, it really wasn’t delivering on any of the things I really wanted for my career. It didn’t meet any of the answers to the questions Nick had asked me. It was a bit of a revelation.

But you know what the funny thing was?

It also turned out that this new Manager was not preventing me from achieving any of the goals I really wanted for my career. The career I wanted, well it wasn’t even going to be possible at that company.

Nick showed me how this Manager had not been sent to destroy me, to scupper me or to bring me down. In Nick’s words, they had been sent as a “Messenger”.

Without them, I wouldn’t have had the realisation that so much of what I was doing simply wasn’t right for me.

I wasn’t learning anything new. I wasn’t reaching my full potential. I certainly wasn’t earning what I felt was worth.

Despite having worked in HR and recruitment for numerous years and thinking myself quite self-aware, I just hadn’t figured this out before. I hadn’t taken the time to.

I’d gotten so swept up in the daily grind, complaining about the job at times but continuing to come in every day and get it done. I loved the company so much and everything it stood for and it was a fun place to work too.

I didn’t hate it. It was just no longer delivering what I needed.

I might have been there for years to come, growing more resentful, feeling like it wasn’t ‘fair’. Until I realised that my career is in my control.

Woman holding white flag

Sometimes bad situations or difficult people are thrown in our path.

They’re not there to torment us, they’re sometimes there to send us a message. To tell us that if we’re not happy, it’s down to us to make changes.

That week I applied for a new job and I got it. And you know what, the skills I learned in that job changed my life for good and had a big hand in setting me on the career path I have now. One that I absolutely love. I finally found my purpose.

It can take something as small as a bad Manager, or as big as a Cancer diagnosis, to send us the message that it’s time to stop and think about what we really want from life.

Then to put together a plan to achieve it.

We can’t always control the things that happen to us but we can decide how we choose to react to them.

What situations have you faced that have completely changed your life?

Find your purpose

If you’re in a place, or crossroads, where you are ready to take action on something new, you’ll love this.

Nick has created Manifestor: a program that helps you learn how to take ideas about your future and turn them into actual reality. So many things can get in the way of creating the life you want for yourself and one of the key things to learn is how to stay focused on your goals.

Manifestor is a 10 week program that teaches you how to do this. Nick has kindly offered my readers a 20% discount by inserting the coupon code “lovefrommim” into the shopping cart. To find out more about the program and download a free leaflet, pop here:

I hope Nick can help you, as he did me.

If you sign up to Nick’s Manifestor course, I will receive a small commission for referring you – because Nick is nice like that. It doesn’t affect the price you pay – in fact you get 20% off using the code “lovefrommim” so it’s win/win I say :)

Nick Freedman
Nick Freedman

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I acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land I work and live on, the Awabakal peoples, and pay my respects to Elders past and present.
I thank them wholeheartedly and express my love and gratitude for the privilege to live and work in such a beautiful part of the world and for the opportunity for my family to be part of this vibrant and supportive community.