Despite wanting to be a mother all of my life, and feeling like it was never going to happen, motherhood actually came with a bit of a bang for me. There are a few things I regret doing after having kids.
There were people having babies everywhere and I longed for one of my own. Deciding to have a baby was an easy choice for me.
I had expected my life to change of course after being a mother: to become busier, chaotic, messy, exhausting. All of those things.
I quickly resigned myself to sleep being a thing of that past and having such little time to myself in the daytime that I had to learn to be productive after hours.
I’ve always lived with being somewhere between being an insomniac and a night owl. I love to sleep, I LOVE it but it doesn’t always come naturally to me. I could manage it pre-kids because at some point, after a long week of sleepless nights, I would eventually just crash out and get a decent stretch of sleep to reinvigorate me and clear my mind.
When you have one child, let alone two, finding that time to catch up on sleep can be pretty much impossible and for me, sleep deprivation means one thing…stupid decisions! Especially after my first baby was born.
There I was, baby in one arm, caffeine/sugar-infused drink in another and ready to take on the world. Or so I thought!
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My 5 Regrets After Having Kids
So here are the 5 things I regret doing after having kids and being a parent. Not that I regret having children, I should add!
1. Listening to too much advice
Before I go on, let me clarify that I LOVE hearing advice from others. When it’s welcomed of course. What I do regret is letting myself get so wound up by the vastly different advice I got from friends, family, strangers in the street and of course, Dr Google.
“Let the baby sleep.” “Wake the baby up.” “You’re not feeding them enough.” “Are you feeding them AGAIN?” Argh, shut up! It’s like they target women having babies or new mums.
I was an anxious first-time mum who just wanted to be prepared for everything that might happen or might go wrong so I allowed everyone to pass their pearls of wisdom on to me, even when unwanted.
I wish I’d had the guts to, politely, tell some people to shut the fluff up and let me just get on with things. You know, politely. It’s something I really regret doing after having kids. I love my baby, it didn’t matter what others said.
Here are some of my favourite books on motherhood that I did find helpful:
2. Cutting all my hair off
I know I know, this is vain and so so predictable but after my first baby was born it just dawned on me that life would be so much easier if I chopped half of my hair off. It just would, wouldn’t it?
So two weeks’ after she was born I hopped on the bus to the hairdressers with elbow length hair and hopped out with a Bob. True to tradition, regrets followed swiftly, possibly as quickly as the next day. My Samson-like strength disappeared with my hair as it was swept off the salon’s floor and in its place was a different-looking me that I wasn’t ready for.
Plus let me tell you, bobs are NOT easier to manage than long hair – the opposite in fact. And my hair takes years to grow an inch. (Update: since I lost my hair from chemo last year, I now have proof of this fact!)
But I did warn you that this point was vain.
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3. Not trusting my gut instinct
Let’s pop back to the aforementioned omniscient entity that is Google. Dr Google.
In the early
days months, I would spend my time googling the most ridiculous things, worrying about such unnecessary stuff. Mainly sleep-related!
I thought that the only person who knew more than Dr Google did was my Mum – and oh yes, she really does! I just wish I never listened and that I’d trusted my own gut instinct on so many situations too instead of whipping myself into a frenzy by googling EVERY ‘new mum’ situation I was faced with instead of just using my own common sense.
I’m much more relaxed having a second child this time around, I will add!
4. Eating too much
During my first pregnancy, I ate so well and only gained 9kgs which was perfect for my baby and pre-baby weight. After I had her, I lost the baby weight in 6 days. SIX DAYS! It just went.
“Ha ha!” I thought as I lost a bit more whilst munching on chocolate biscuits, “this is EASY!”. And it was because for me, breastfeeding was burning away those calories and my baby fed often.
But then she started to sleep through the night which of course was wonderful but by then I was eating enough Tim Tams for ten and that weight slowly crept its way back on. And on. Damn it!
The second time around, I put on twice as much weight. After my second baby was born, I had a bash at the same Biscuits/Breastfeeding combo “diet”. Didn’t work. Fek.
5. Not taking more videos of the babies
I don’t want to turn into a parent who spends more time clicking a camera in front of my kid’s faces than actually enjoying their company but I do wish I’d taken some more videos of them because I just love watching them back!
I do have some though, and it isn’t like I can take videos of everything they do. I’ll just keep reminding myself to take more as the baby years don’t last long.
These are the things I regret doing after having kids. I would certainly never regret having kids though and motherhood is just as wonderful as I hoped it would be. My kids are my life :) I don’t regret being a parent in any way at all!
Is there anything you’d do differently or any advice for new parents?
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This post on the things I regret doing after having kids been updated and was originally published on September 21st 2015. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.